Building Confidence in Our Youngest Athletes

Written by: Allison Meyers, Psy.D., LP, MGCP

Sometimes eager and proactive parents contact us about working with their very young athletes, kids as young as 5 or 6 years old. Most of the time, the concern is confidence. They may say their child struggles to try new skills or spends most of practice sitting out. This is more common than you might think. The good news is that confidence is not something kids are simply born with. It is something we help them build over time.

At this young age, building confidence looks different than it does for older athletes. We are not focused on teaching detailed mental strategies yet. Instead, we are helping kids learn through doing. Early sport experiences shape how children see themselves, not just as athletes, but as learners, teammates, and problem-solvers. The great thing about young kids is that they are naturally curious. They want to explore. They want to try. But they need the space to do it.

The challenge? We as adults sometimes get in the way. It often comes from a good place. We want to help. We want them to succeed. So we step in with instructions like, “Do it this way,” or “That’s not how it should look.” But when we focus too much on the outcome, kids may start to believe that getting it right matters more than trying. Over time, this can make them hesitant. If they think they might do it “wrong,” they may choose not to try at all. But effort is exactly what we want to build. Confidence grows through action. It grows when kids try something new, struggle a little, and then try again. It grows when they feel proud of their effort, not just the result.

Research supports this approach. Studies show that when adults praise effort instead of ability, children are more likely to stay motivated and keep trying after mistakes (Mueller & Dweck, 1998). This helps children develop what is often called a “growth mindset,” or the belief that they can improve with practice.

What does this look like in real life?

First, shift the way you praise. Instead of saying, “You’re so good at that,” try saying, “I love how hard you worked,” or “You didn’t give up.” This helps kids connect success with effort.

Second, allow room for mistakes. Mistakes are not failures, they are part of learning. When kids know it’s okay to mess up, they are more willing to take risks. And taking risks is how they improve.

Third, limit how much you say during practice. Too many instructions can overwhelm young athletes. Sometimes the best coaching is quiet support. Watch. Encourage. Let them figure things out.

Fourth, celebrate small wins. For young athletes, success might be trying a new skill, staying engaged in practice, or bouncing back after frustration. These moments matter. They build confidence step by step.

It’s also important to think about the environment we create. Kids need to feel emotionally safe. This means they know they are supported no matter what. They are not afraid of being judged or criticized. They know their value is not based on performance. When kids feel safe, they are more open to trying. They become more resilient. They start to believe in their ability to handle challenges. As coaches and parents, our role is not to control every moment. It is to guide, support, and sometimes step back. That can be hard. Watching a child struggle is not always easy. But that struggle is often where the most growth happens.

We do, in fact, work with very young athletes sometimes. But truthfully, much of our work is helping parents and coaches adjust their approach. Often, the biggest change comes when adults step back just enough to let kids take the lead in their own learning. When we give young athletes space to explore, problem-solve, and learn from experience, we help them build real confidence. Not the kind that depends on being perfect, but the kind that comes from knowing, “I can try, I can learn, and I can get better.” And that kind of confidence lasts far beyond the game.

Reference

Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children’s motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 33–52.